the elusive you

of late night conversations, frequent hang-outs and random sighing.
it's not entirely possible to just walk away, or is it.

seoul searching

sometimes i think this is it. and that i can no longer go on.
i'm feeling this right now. i don't exactly know how to deal with super tight deadlines and fatigue and every other thing.
also, i'm possibly the fattest woman in seoul.


how is it that every single woman i've seen so far is so skinny.
this is surreal.

this evening

because trusting can be tiring, i've therefore decided not to trust anymore.

again, again, again

when the raindrops hit the concrete ground.

i've been haunted by that one line ' i don't know if i can live without you.'
all things, beautiful, lush and real will subsequently disintegrate into nothingness, leaving two hearts broken, unmendable and eventually dead.

and, today i realise, no matter how much i want to feel alive again for a particular someone, to have my heart in my mouth when i see you, i don't think i can ever handle yet another of that ' i don't know if i can live without you' moment.

some things are just unfortunate this way.
vulnerable moments are best savored alone in the comfort of my own blanket right before the day breaks.

i'd very much like to have a regular heartbeat, for now.
i think.