not knowing and knowing

i'm a broken person.

the ups and the downs

i sighed.

i don't suppose i've ever grasped the whole concept of interpersonal relationships. i guess i just don't do it very well.

the past few days have been nothing but slow, painful and mentally exhausting.

a problem at work has been blown out of proportion and i am feeling very threatened, victimised and affected. i wish people could be more sincere in being a decent human being. i don't exactly know what do/can/will they get out of it from forcing me into a corner, from forcing me to conform, from forcing me to become one of those muted office workers who have no opinions of their own. i am troubled, upset, and scared. i don't exactly know what's the next appropriate step i should take but i do know that i can no longer stay in my current organisation. and this saddens me because, after all, why should i be the one to leave. she, he, he. they should be the ones to pack up and go.

but then, it's never easy for some of us.

i really wish that things will work out.
it's been nerve-wrecking and i am honestly quite sick of it.