cos i am me, the universe & you

send me a sign, please, anyone.
i need to know.

26 and nothing.
how do i deal.

just so you know

corporate whoring is essential to one's survival as it not only brings home the bacon, it helps to bring home carrots, cabbage, ham, cheese, taupok, tofu, sushi, chicken rice and most importantly yakult.

thank you.

courage, my love, it makes me bolder

what made me smile this morning

1. neighbor's 2-year-old child running to their gate, calling me cheh cheh and blowing me goodbye kisses as i locked mine to be on my way to work.
2. the collective clicking of fellow commuters' heels as we quickened our pace to catch the arriving train.

while i enjoy being exclusive, the feeling of being part of something greater can be rather refreshing too.

a little warm death

on msn at work one evening, fellow comrade from across the building said she would never be sufficiently equipped to deal with a loved one's death.

what can i say. really...

the whole notion of missing a dead person kills me.
and today, groggy from an afternoon nap, i sent a text message to f saying "honestly, i fear one day, you would drop dead before i do and i would be left missing a dead person, not knowing what to do. so really, what would i do then?"

to which, the reply was "we'll have lots of good times ahead."
boys.

very appropriately sang

Here comes wintertime
like a long and dark night
man, I feel so unprepared this time

No stored heat just the smell of defeat and deceit
rolled in to one and then put on repeat
I really need to get a hold of myself
if I'm to get back on my feet
cause this year I got my heart broken
my fears awoken, my beliefs shaken and my dignity taken
but am I wrong to assume that the world is absurd
when religion comes first and knowledge comes third
and there's a fast river
that's a slow killer and cause for bonuses at Phizer
but advice her that she won't get her pills if we don't pay her bills
and it's a sad story but greed is our top skill

So far so good
except for a vague feeling that I should not expect calls
family dinners, long vacations or pictures on bed room walls
these are things I really don't need at all
I just hope she's a

Heartbreaker
a soulshaker and a
lovemaker or a damn good faker
cause I really don't care about these little things that make
a household work or makes her thing rings

And it's long story with no glory
just mistaken for an undertaking that doesn't need replicating

Oh! These are things I really don't need at all

- This Year by Thomas Dybdahl